Let me see where to start since I haven't posted in awhile. I guess I'll start with last week, when I went to my grandmother's to do laundry and on the way home my exhaust pipe on my car literally broke off and was dragging on the road underneath. Luckily I wasn't far away I was able to get it fixed. My car seems to have little problems, but nothing ever major. It's a love/hate thing, it does what a car is supposed to do, but looks awful. The paint is fading/peeling like most Chrysler cars from the early 90's do. When I think something major might be wrong it's something minor, so I'm stuck driving a horrible looking car, that is surprisingly reliable though.

I went out last week Wednesday as well, for the first time in god knows how long. I had fun but had a lot on my mind so anyone I know but was stand-offish too, please don't take it personal. I said hi and talked to two or three people, danced a little and drank my cheap beer. It was still nice to get out and see people though.

I haven't had much luck in the job thing, I guess I have to keep on looking, I just hate looking for jobs. If you go on any employment webisite, and even some papers, a good amount of it is just crap, scams, get rich quick schemes, or some other fraud. Weeding through it all to find anything useful is just tedious to me. This week I did cut back on my caffiene and started drinking a lot of grape propel water mix. It's good in general, I was getting too hyperfocused on just one or two things in life and not able to focus on anything else, or keep a decent sleep schedule. So far I've been succesful, but have been sleeping the weirdest hours. I usually have been falling asleep before 10pm and waking up before 4am. I'm sure I'll adjust. I also spent a lot of today and yesterday cleaning all the things in the apartment that I've been neglecting for the majority of winter. Altogether I'm in an ok mood at least. That's pretty much it, other than that my life hasn't been to interesting unless you want to be bored with more talk about World of Warcraft the other thing I've been doing but not quite as much this week.

Here's an article I came across today, for anybody into Gary Numan.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/showbiz/latest/2008/03/14/gary-numan-exclusive-89520-20351087/

I relate to him on a few issues at least.

For one last though, hurray for Zyrtec being sold over the counter and it's generic eqivalent. I was prescribed it about a year ago but couldn't afford the $80 a month for it. The prices over the counter are a bit expensive but nothing like that. It's the only thing that I've tried that really works on my allergies and doesn't knock me out. I know it's an odd random though, but my eyes were itchy so I just took one.

I rarely even have the least concern for about 95% of the movies that are released and just find them to be boring and a complete waste of time. Still there are those few movies I just love and I can watch over and over again.

Today I found out about this, maybe I'm late to find this out, I'm not sure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Boys_2:_The_Tribe

This is the first I've heard about this. I'm not sure if it's going to be actually in theaters or if it's some straight to video thing, but it does have a soundtrack which makes me think the first. I'm actually kind of excited, the first one is still one of my favorite movies. This one even has the Corey's in it, so at least there is some novelty.

Let me add this link too.

http://www.trailerspy.com/movie-trailers/view/447/lost-boys-2-the-tribe-trailer/

About a month ago I took a job cleaning at a school in Mukwonago. I didn't work directly for the school district though, I actually work through a franchise who had a contract with the school district. Though it's obviously not my dream job, the pay sounded good so I gave it a try. It was also nice because there really wasn't anything too dirty to clean up.

I tried my best on this job, although I had trouble getting everything done on time in the first few days, before the week was over I was able to do so. It also was about a 45 minute drive for me to get there which meant it would cost a lot in gas to get there. Because of this, I agreed that I would only do it if I worked full time and for a certain amount of money.

So it was agreed upon that I would work for a certain hourly rate. Since mapquest said it would be about a 40 minuted drive, I left about 50 minutes before starting work. On the first day or two, I was there on time, but on one day it made me late, no more than 5 minutes late, but still late. After being talked to about it, I started leaving for work an hour early. On one occasion, I was late again, still within 5 minutes though, but still late. The problem that day was that there was an accident on I 43, a lane was closed and traffic was backed up without any warning before I left. I live in a city, this stuff happens.

Then came the snow day. I already worked through 2 snow storms, and on the way home I drove about 25mph the whole way home and still came very close to sliding into the ditch. Then came the day with the snow and ice, and almost all the schools were closed, including the one I worked at. I was told that I was still expected to go but I did not feel safe driving in those conditions considering that I almost slid into the ditch twice in weather that wasn't as bad. To make it worse, since I wasn't working for a few weeks prior, I don't have insurance. It's not illegal to drive without insurance in this state, but in weather like that, it's not a very smart thing to do. If I slid into anybody, or someone cuts me off or anything and I do get into an accident, I would be financially fucked. I've had it happen to me when I was 20 years old, and I couldn't get my liscence back for almost 5 years and it also put me into quite a deep depression. I'm also not at an income to just afford to buy another car if I crash this one, so if I did get into an accident, I wouldn't be getting to work at all. On this day, I also had my phone out, and I wasn't sure why, but I tried a pay phone and it also didn't work. Somehow my internet worked though so I emailed someone to let them know I couldn't make it, it was the only thing I could do, and they did find out, not right when I was supposed to start, but not too long after.

So the next day I'm told by him that the company I work for can be fined if no one is available to work for them. I was told this before but this was the only day I missed. If the same thing happened again knowing what I did, I would still miss work. He then tells me that the fine is $75 for each hour missed, much more then I get paid an hour, and actually a whole day would be more than what I make a week. I'm also told by another person that this will be taken out of my check, something I never agreed to. That was part of their contract, not mine, and I was not even made aware of this. So the next day, I call them about to quit if this was the case. Why would I spend my money to go to work if I'm not even getting paid? The fins was big enough to assure that I would have been working for nothing. They assured me that this isn't the case so I went to work, although I was a little late since my intention was to quit anyway if I wasn't going to get paid. I also find out from the guy who's under contract with the school, that the people at the school complained about the few times I was "late". I find out the next day that the time clock is actually set about 5 minutes fast. So if it was set an hour fast would I be an hour late? So in real time, I wasn't actually late, close but still just on time. I also never had a job that gets terribly upset over 2 minutes. This was all complete bullshit to me.

I work out the rest of week, being on time after that. Then at the beginning of this week, I"m told I don't need to be in because they have to train someone for the 3 days I would miss between Christmas and New Year. The 20th was the pay day we'd agreed on though. I try all day to call them to find out where I can pick up my check, and I get no answer. This is the number on their business card keep in mind. At about 9 at night, I finally get a call, saying that I won't be getting a check because they haven't been paid by the client yet. This is my job and my agreed upon pay day. I am depending on this money, my phone bill isn't paid, I have no money for gas or food, or even feed my cats, much less anything for Xmas. Not only is this illegal, but very immoral. So this guy who sounds like he has a decent car, is decently dressed, and drives an almost brand new Nissan which he claims is a Lexus, can't afford to pay me?

The contract between him and the school is his business, not mine. The people who worked at school expect you to have to call in every now and then, so it was actually their responsibility to make sure someone can make it there if I can't. I'm human, I do get sick on occasion, or have car troubles or other emergencies, Superman wasn't looking for a job unfortunately, so I don't know what they expect. As it was, I did only miss that one day of work, when school was actually closed anyway. This says it's unsafe for teachers to go to work, and for school busses to drive kids to school, but not unsafe for me? I didn't think having a clean chalkboard and swept floor was that essential of a job. Even the other people who cleaned with me but worked directly for the school board said it's not in there union contract, and they don't blame me for missing work.

Yeah, I essential feel like I was stolen from. I'm sorry to the person who helped me get this job as a favor, I know it wasn't your doing and was only trying to help and I don't hold this against you in any way at all. It just doesn't feel good to work and actually spend gas money to get to work just to be left without a dime when you are supposed to get paid.

Well, this summer has been plagued by money problems. Since I can't really afford to go out, I've been amusing myself playing world of warcraft. I'll put up a picture of my character sometime along with a few of alt characters. To also help us get out of this, we've dropped everything but our basic cable, and went with AT&T for our phone and DSL.

In good news, I have a job interview for a Pharmacy Technician at Walgreen's on Brady Street on Tuesday. I thought about being one for my old employee but they paid very poorly. It is something that I've been thinking about doing now as a job anyway, since I seriously have been considering of going into a medical career eventually. I know I'm squeamish with blood and such but maybe I can get over enough to at least be radiologist or something. My options are somewhat open, but I have to be in good standing with my loans again before I do that. I think a few things are finally coming together which is good after my summer of feeling like I was in yet another hole that I can't get out of.

Also, to anybody who has helped us out in any way, large or small in the last year, we have not forgotten you. Thank you and as soon as we are able we will return the favor. I might have a different outlook on who are your true friends, but I don't always believe they are necessarily the people you see the most, but the people you can always trust and whose bond never breaks even after months or perhaps years of not seeing them.

I can't sleep again, oh well. It does look like we will be moving too. I hate moving but I think I hate this building even more. A day or two Shannon and I noticed that someone pissed in the elevator. I don't know if it was a tenant or some random idiot who got in the building because people let anybody come in the building. On top of it, no one has cleaned it up yet, and the garbage which is know is from other tenants Yes, there was a puddle and that obvious smell, it was kind of the final straw. Our management company is still trying to charge us late fees for their fuck up last month and they still haven't returned the check. Then there is the random lack of heat or hot water and the fact that a few of our neighbors have been stuck in the elevator.

Today we got a letter to pay rent or get out and as far as I care they can take us to court. We also noticed in the hallway that at least half the people on our floor also had the same letter. I hope they have fun kicking us all out and being left with no tenants. I really do pay too much to live in a slum. I could get a decent place in Bay View easily for what we are paying. Having a small yard or even a balcony to sit on outside would be nice anyway.

Sorry for all the negativity. I also believe I slipped a disc in my back which is also putting me in not the best of moods. From what I've read it sounds like slipped disc hitting the sciatic nerve. The pain starts in my lower back when I move or try to stand up then shoots down to the back of my thigh. I still have to see a doctor about this especially since I can't fully do my job in this condition.

http://www.uspsjedimaster.com/main/splash.html

Yes, I admit, I'd get as a collectors item since they are fairly cheap.

In other news just as fucked up as in my last post, I walked out to my car to go to work this morning, and the channel 6 news van is there with camera in front of the building next door to my house. When I came home from work I found out why.

It appears that this fantastic human being has been living two buildings down from me.

http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/6937877.html

Don't we all wish we had neighbors like this, as if finding out that the guy across the hall is a convicted sex offender wasn't bad enough.

So today we went out and did a small bit of shopping mainly for stuff we needed for the cat. Driving to other parts of town just reminded me of how much I despise this building we live in. I can't wait until our lease is over.

Sorry about the initial gripe. I'm in a fairly good mood today although I am a little tired. We took the cats to the vet and luckily it went by quickly. Also, I've gotten the first book I think I've bought in year because the cable was out. It was that book "Wicked" about the Wicked Witch of the West that I've heard about. It's been awhile since I've read anything that is at all fiction. I usually just read non-fiction things that I learn from unless it's a story about a subject that really interests me. I miss reading and also thought I would need something to do if our cable and internet got shut off. Luckily it didn't yet but it just makes me think of the first 20 years of my life before the internet. I only really like a few TV shows, most reality TV really bores me and the same goes for a good amount of the movies put out. I miss my reading and music. Since I love learning new, sometimes trivial facts and the fact that I do a lot of communicating through the internet, I sometimes think of doing without it. When I'm not doing one of those two things all I am really doing on here is killing time. Talking to my friends is nice but the other half of the people who bug me on the internet I could care less about. I miss my music. Even the radio is boring me, which makes me miss having my ipod for work.

The other random thing is that as soon as I can afford it, which won't be too soon. I want to get a bike again. I admit, I'm not one for the gym but I've always done a lot of long walks and/or bike rides.

Yeah, me and the other 10 of us left in the US. Yeah, I feel like a dying breed even at some "goth/industrial" clubs.

I was thinking about music that I loved but haven't listened to in a long time today, which makes me have to ask. Does anybody have a copy of "Legacy of Hate and Lust" by Leather Strip. I don't know, I've just been in the mood to hear it. Perhaps if somebody does they can send me MP3s or make me a copy of the CD. I don't consider it stealing. I bought the CD so he got his royalties, it just happened to get stolen from me quite awhile back.

Today, we brought our cat Maddy home. This time the vet was in a better mood and Maddy is getting better so I can't be too upset. I pretty much had it when I guessed diabetes. After getting receiving antibiotics and insulin as well as getting fluids put back in her she has began recovering. She's almost back to where she was before we took her in, with the exception that we now have to give her two insulin shots a day and feed her a special diet. Yes, it cost us our rent money but it was worth it and I am so glad that I went with my insticts on what I thought it was and that she would recover. Two days ago, she was so weak that if it continued we would have considered letting her go. Hopefully Karma will come back and I will get rent and bill money before the landlords freak out too much. I do get paid next week so it's not completely hopeless. I am very happy that our cat is better though.

The one thing I have to consider though is that unless we bring Matty with us we would have to have someone to watch her who could give her, her two shots a day. It's nothing too difficult but always something we have to think about.

Maddy is doing well though, she is eating again, which she hasn't done since about a day or two before we brought her into the vet. She also has most of her energy back and is even playful sometimes.

I know a lot of people on my friends list are also cat people, so get this...

My last post kind of gives you a hint of whats been going on with Madison, our cat. Yesterday, the vet called back with the test results as I said in my last post. The vet who Shannon spoke with on the phone yesterday had the insulin ordered which we picked up this morning before taking Maddy back to the vet. The doctor told us that we would be shown how to give the insulin shots, but we were wrong.

When we got to the clinic, we had a different vet than the one we first saw or the one we spoke with on the phone. Instead of of learning to do the insulin and the other things we were led to believe, this doctor told us something almost completely different. He was more about her kidney problems or infection and much less on the insulin. We were led to believe by this vet that it was much more hopeless than the other vet told us. I understand that there are never any medical guarantees but I'll explain further what kind of gets me about this doctor but not necessarily the clinic as a whole or the rest of the staff.

First off, as soon as we brought her in the doctor gave us this opinion after just seeing the chart and not really looking at her at all yet. He came off as very uncompassionate and Shannon and I both thought that he handled our cat quite rough. Up until the moment the vet saw her, she seemed lethargic and weak but not necessarily in pain. I don't know if it was the vibe from this guy as well, but as soon as she was put on the table it was like her health dropped another level.

I know we are upset, but other vets just seemed much more compassionate. I know I'm not a vet, but I'm not an idiot and I at least have a basic understanding of her conditions. Now if she is diabetic as the test results show, and it's been going untreated, would that not possibly lead to some her other conditions, such as the inability to heal infections like the one in her kidney. I just agree with the doctor she spoke with on the phone. Why would they order insulin for us and then not have us use it or at least try that route. This doctor seemed to want to look at everything else, when it is at least known now that she is diabetic, so why not treat that and see how she does.

Now I would also accept the theory that if the kidney is the root of everything, in which a tumor spread to her pancreas and caused the diabetic problems. I don't know cat anatomy well enough though to know how close the pancreas are to a cat's kidneys. The doubt in that though is that she was obese, then later lost the weight, so diabetes just makes a lot more sense, knowing the history of Maddy. This is something I don't think this last vet knew.

Now what else is hard is obviously, we can't afford all this. In fact we've been spending our rent money to treat her, but now that we think about it we don't want that last vet treating her with his attitude. The other thing that gave us a bad vibe is how when examining her and feeling her kidney, he squeezed it hard enough to make her pee instantly and after that, she looked in pain. He continued to be pretty rough although my cat was too weak to fight or resist and it obviously didn't take much to keep her cooperative.

Anyway, we couldn't consciously put her down yet without at least trying the insulin route as the other vets suggested. We had her hospitalized for tonight to see if she improves at all after treatment and rehydration. I miss her already and am worried about her, and accept the possibility that she could die there. If the insulin does at least get her to improve even a tiny bit, I think we will try to treat her but I don't want that particular vet treating her again. If she gets worse or stays about the same we will have to let her go.

To sum it up, we are hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

If anybody has any recommendations for a cat vet, please let us know. The other vets at St. Paul Vet Clinic did a great job, but we both just really don't want that vet treating her again. It seemed as if even the assistants didn't care for him much.

I'm so nervous about tomorrow but would love to see Maddy at least one more time again.

About two days ago, Shannon noticed that our Cat, Madison wasn't quite acting right. She occasionally eats to much and pukes but this time she was puking more than normal. She couldn't even hold down water. At first we were a little concerned since she ate something out of the trash.

The next morning she was the same but now very lethargic. I was worried, and Shannon even more so but we both had to go to work. On my lunch hour, I stopped home and checked on her and when picking her up she felt very week. I had to go back to work but I felt very guilty leaving her home like that. So as soon as I got back to work I tracked down a manager, explained the situation and asked if I could leave a little early to get her to the vet as soon as possible.

As soon as I got home I called Shannon, and despite not really having the money we decided to take her to the vet. It didn't seem like she was dying but we didn't want it to progress to something worse. Our suspicions were either kidney problems or something to do with her blood sugar.

When we got to the vet, we found out that she had a bit of a fever and was dehydrated as well. The gave her a quick fluid IV and an antibiotic shot, as well as taking her blood for tests.

Today, we called back to find out the results of the blood tests. Her kidneys weren't functioning 100% but that wasn't the main problem. We also found out that she does have some kind of infection but we are not sure exactly where so it may be the kidneys. The main problem though, is that we found out that she is Diabetic. The vet reassured us that she wasn't sick enough or suffering for us to put her down, thank god.

Tomorrow, we will have to call the vet, and be taught how to give Maddy her insulin shots twice a day. I have to say this will be a new experience since I haven't given shots before. We have to go to the Pet Apothecary in Glendale to pick up the insulin before going back to the vet. At least she is okay for now and a little tired but not suffering at all. In a way we are relieved but then again we will have to learn to give shots and have somebody cat sit if we ever have to go anywhere.

I thought I was feeling better last night, but I woke up this morning with sinus pains and a fever of at least 102 degrees. The 102 degree reading was taken about a half hour after taking two ibroprofen. I hope I can work tomorrow.

Last night my coughing was so bad that I considered going to the emergency room. Of course, I have no insurance, so I went to the Aurora walk in clinic that has a nurse practitioner, the next day. It was a bad deal, $40 to take care of most somewhat minor things. What I found out is that on top of having just a cold or cough, I have acute bronchitis. So I got my work excuse and a refill on my albuterol inhaler.

It's actually a bit painful, but I am feeling slightly better already so I hope that it doesn't last too long.