Although I leave a few posts open for everybody to see, the majority of my posts especially more personal ones are friends only. If you care to know, add me as a friend, and if I don't already know who you are, please let me know.

I've added most of my LJ friends to facebook, but for anyone who isn't added on here, here it is. As much as a like facebook for keeping up with a lot of people, I still prefer this for my longer and sometimes more personal posts, since I can't always put my thoughts into a sentence short enough for a facebook post.

Brian Howard

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I think one thing that has come from maturity with me is to not write off or look down upon people simply for having a different political view than I do. I have many things I agree with libertarians on, but can't call myself a libertarian becuase I have other beliefs that border on being socialist. Also, although I haven't read enough of her to be the greatest judge, Ayn Rand's ideas are mainly a bunch of crap in my eyes. She hits on a good point or two, but the big picture just has too many holes for me, only benefits or respects on aspect of society, and just completely leaves out certain key issues of human reaction, motivation and psychology. Maybe people should read her to know what she is about at least, but I advise against worshiping her like she is some kind of goddess for capitalist athiests. I also take exception to one of the key axioms of libertarian thought involving property rights.

Not that socialism is the extreme sence is any better, since people who do work harder sometimes do deserve more rewards of their own than someone who just does as little as they can to get by. Anyway, that much oppression is just not worth it to me, even in the name of everyone being equal. I think of the Soviet Union, a place my relatives emigrated out of to escape around the time of the revolution. I think of how bad minimum wage is here, but realize that our minimum wage still can lead to a better standard of living than the average worker in the USSR for the most part, not counting the crime problems of most low income neighborhoods in the country. To the majority of the Russian people, communism did sound far better than serfdom under Czarist Russia though.

Relating to mainstream American politics, I still support the Democratic party for the most part, but don't blindly stand by everything they do. Yes, until I see a more viable and stable solution, I do want to protect social securtiy, I do support gay rights, and the rights of all minorities, although I don't always agree with the ways they go about this. Public housing was a great example of a democratic blunder. We boxed poor people who needed homes into enclosed areas and concentrated them, then essentially neglected them and the building maintenace. The government became a slumlord and tore apart many historic neighborhoods to do so. To some living in the projects were better than no home, but there were better ways of going about this, like vouchers for low income people who can't afford rent to rent from the private sector, wherever they want to live as long as it's affordable. Due to neglectful or even corrupt police protection, the areas around housing projects always tended to become crime ridden. I also think that most of the time, the democrats do just fine running military matters, depsite neocon objections. Two of our most important wars in history were won with Democratic presidents, and since I am more likely to vote democrat and am fond of past democratic presidents like FDR and Kennedy. Despite all this, I do know that their are still douchebags in the party and you should always research your canidates rather than just checking the box with the D or the R after the name.

On to the Republicans, although I don't agree with them on many issues, once in awhile they do come up with a good idea or two. Earned Income Credit was an idea from them based on the idea of a negative income tax. I also don't mind school choice, since if you live in an area where the government isn't doing it's job and the public schools are that bad, and not all but some definitely are, you should be able to take the money that would have been spent on a public school and be able to send your child to a school that does provide a decent and safe education. I'll even applaud Reagan on some of his foreign relations skills, although I really dislike most of his domestic policies.

On to our current president, Obama. I supported him and am happy we finally show the world that not all people in power have to be white males, but as everybody should, I'm judging him by his actions and descisions and not by his skin color. This new cigarette tax is something I object to for one. It may seem small to most people, but to the people addicted to cigarettes, that are chemically altered to be even more addictive than they would be than tobacco is in it's natural state, in fact, proven to be more addcitve but not as intoxicating as herion, this is a very high, regressive tax. Sure, Obama can still afford to smoke all he wants. The rest of us will take a severe hit in the pocketbooks, and of course struggle to quit, but not all of us will and will be stuck paying a very high tax that could be going to our food and shelter or at lest some other aspect of the economy. I'd understand the tax if I knew that if I found out I had lung cancer tomorrow, the goverment would take care of me, and for this and the extra health risks of smoking, I pay that tax, but this isn't the case. If I actually got lung cancer, I'm still on my own, so essentialy you are taxing victims. Yes, I fully knew how bad cigarettes were when I started at a young and stupid age, but I don't think anyone can understand the nature of addiction until they have one. Hopefully, to make up for this, we may get some type of nearly universal health coverage. Seriously, if your party has control of the White House, House, and Senate, and still can't get something worthwhile through, that's it, and I'll assume the party has changed to much and will consider finding another canidate or just not voting altogher. I'd like to see a reversal of most of Bush's polices, but haven't seen much of that either yet.

Anyway, despite this long post, my point is that I am no longer as judgemental of people with differing political views, and it's really more a matter of what motives as to why you vote the way you do. As long as the reasons for your descisions are informed, I will at least respect them. Hell, we may even want the same things but simply differ on our opinions to the best means to acheive that end.

It's hard for me to find movies I'm actually interested in. The movies I do like, I really like, but most movies are not even worth the money and wasting two hours of your life to see. So today, I actually ended up watching four movies, which is rare. To be fair, three of the movies I've seen before at least once so I knew I liked them already, those were Borat, Indiocracy, and Twilight, which I actually saw in the theater and actually liked, and yeah, I'm almost embararassed to admit it becuase of all the hype, actually really liked it. The final movie was Milk, which for me I feel was a must see in support of my gay and lesbian friends, about a historic person and time in the battle for what I believe are their basic human rights.

Going back to Twilight, of course I've always liked most vampire movies, but PG-13 vampires? I guess, I was in High School once too and actually relate to Edward a lot. It's kind of like Star Wars for me, being a family friendly movie but still something I like because I relate to certain characters. In the case of Star Wars, it's Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, and for Twilight, I actually related to Edward a bit. I know, I'm a strange guy, but I like those characters with the inner struggle for good and evil, or sometimes those anti-hero type characters. Yeah, the personality and mannerisms remind me of myself, and of course, there is always that stuggle. I don't think their is rarely anybody who is just purely good or evil, and of course, even the best of us have some moral issue we battle with. A good example for me is animal rights. I despise the mistreatment of animals, but know that some killing of animals is neccasary for the survival and the good of society. I hate it, and the best thing we can do is keep mistreatment of animals at an absolute minimum, and try to never abuse it or mistreat animals unneccasarily. The same could be said for violence with me, another thing I despise but in cases of absolute survival and a few other rare circumstances, it may be the tool of last resort and the only way left when all other attempts fail.

There were other aspects of the story I liked too, so yeah, I'm a Twilight fan. It wasn't like I was the most masculine of guys anyway, but I am comfortable with who I am.

Kind of reminds me of my star wars fascination with me as well, on that level that Anakin is decieved and finally crosses that line from supporting a greater good to representing a greater evil, although even as Darth Vader he still retains a small bit of his humanity. Yes, it's nerdy of me, but you won't see me at a Star Wars or even worse, a star trek convention although I do own a few toys and a lightsaber. Who cares, nerds rock, yeah, there are some of us who do have our nerdy tastes and still remain attractive to the opposite sex and have a social life. Everyone is a nerd on some level.

It's my second day back from our trip to New Orleans and I'm already bored out of my mind. I'm thinking about reading Shannon's Laurell K Hamilton books. I thought about it in the past, and it sounds like something I might like, but was always turned off that parts of the story actually take place right here, where I am actually living, in the St. Louis area, and even more specifically, having to do with the Cahokia Mounds, which actually are right here, in the town I live in. Needless to say, I hate this place. Too many methheads in the mid twenties, with several kids in their mid twenties who look twice as old as I do. I mean it, I went to work and put on my hat and some people literally thought I was in my very early twenties. There is no bookstore here, and little to do considering there is what is supposed to be a major city nearby, and of course, more crank addicts than I have ever seen. Along with PCP, I think meth was one of those drugs where I saw the effects so disgusting to me that I could never even think about touching the stuff. Who knows, maybe this place is cursed from developing, mining and moving Native American graves and developing their holy land if you believe in that sort of thing. Yeah, that's a good explanation for all of it. Of course, there are a few excpetions, and I don't judge people purely by where they are from, but there is so much of it that it permeates the general atmosphere of this place.

Again, I feel there is also something in this house. I'm here for a day, and my lungs already feel sore, although we aren't smoking any more than usual and aren't smoking in the house. I also get a little dizzy and feel the need to sleep every few hours, usually only for a short time. I'm greatful that they let me live here until I move back to Milwaukee, don't get me wrong. I guess I also miss home, even though it's just Milwaukee, miss my friends and know my family needs me their for awhile.

Anyway, I've been listening to L'ame Immortelle a lot again. I haven't been listening to much of my music until just recently and having been buying a lot of CD's so it's one of those bands I'm kind of catching up bands. I've been finding some new music as well, and there also seems to be at least a few good shows in the Milwaukee/Chicago/Madison area soon, but unfortuneately, I might not be back soon enough. Yeah, I miss my music. It's always meant a lot to me, both listening and attempting to play and write occasionally. I know to some people it's trivial, but even the kind of music someone listens to (by their own choice and not just music they listen to to be cool with a certain group) can say a lot to me about a person.

Anyway, I need to read, and maybe take a short nap.

I think I'm in the middle of another one of those turning points in my life. Right now, Shannon and I are in South Carolina visiting the new guy Shannon is involved with. Yes, that means Shannon and I are still broke up, and yes, we are staying that way. It won't be until April it looks like until I move back to Milwaukee. I plan to spend time getting back on my own feet in a few ways, since this ended up being a very mutually dependent relationship. It was something I really didn't plan on but it just ended up that way. You would think I'd be bitter or upset but I'm really not. I saw Shannon as a wonderful person in many ways, and in some ways we just pushed each other's buttons and made each others issues worse, but it was just never really there for us. I stayed out of guilt and seeing her as a great person, but it was never there, and was never going to be, no matter how hard we tried or faked it. I also think this was mutual. I don't know where Shannon's new relationship is going yet, but he is a really nice guy, although younger than both of us. I'm happy for her, and happy we get out of this relationship still being friends, which is all we were meant to be. We did want some similar things, like kids eventually, but it just never felt right.

I never really spoke of it to many people, but always did want a child or two eventually, but never was in a situation where I felt right about it. I say one or two because that would merely two people in this world to replace to others, and not contribute to an increase in the world's population. Partially it's because of my own finances, but that can always change and I'm sure will. It's also because when it comes down to it, I am kind of a classical romantic. If I had kids, it would have to be with someone I do intend to stay with, and most likely marry. For all intents and purposes, I'm kind of conservative in that way with myself. I don't look down on others who've had divorces, it happens, and don't believe that if people aren't in a nuclear family, society should punish them. People die, people change or end up not being who you think they are, or many other things can happen. I also don't think what is right for me might necessarily be right for everybody, but I know what I want and what I actually do strive for.

So there it is, what makes me tick beyond sex, drugs and rock and roll, politics, gothic subculture, and everything else about me. I don't want or need the drugs, or even alcohol really. Sure I may indulge in the occasional few drinks socially like the 3 small glasses of wine I had earlier tonight but can't really let myself actually drink past that for the sake of getting drunk. I've seen the alcohol or drugs kill or almost kill too many important people in my life to do that. I'll still be out at shows I can afford, and maybe even club from time to time because I love the music, but just can't do that to myself seeing what's happening. Believe me, this is my own personal choice and I don't mean it to preach or as a cut on people who do drink a little, and even those who may smoke pot every now and then.

So what does the future hold? Well, right now I think I'm on the brink of a new long distance relationship, but I just got out of this relationship and I'm not rushing in. If it's meant to happen, it will. Yeah, it's one of those girls where everything just seems to fit, and I'm getting tired and will talk more about it tomorrow. I have shit to take care of though in Milwaukee with my family and myself, and the fact that she respects that says enough about her right there. Odd thing, considering how politically outspoken I can be and supported Obama, doesn't agree with me on that, though I don't think she cared for W. much either. Yeah, it was a weird one for me, and I guess the balance in the whole yin and yang thing. Also, unlike many people who supported W during the war, am fully open to and may even agree with many criticisms of him. I do hope he turns the country around a bit, but I know I won't agree with everything he does. As I've stated before, I do hold mostly liberal and sometimes nearly socialist views, but also hold a few other libertarian views on many issues. She also seems to be a very stable person, something I think I've always desperately needed in my life. Other than that, we have an amazing amount of things in common, and that we look upon exactly the same way.

So I'm staying here until we leave for New Orleans and meeting some really cool people. They are this cool, goth-punk family of three, from California, who are currently in the Charlotte area. The house, and much of the area is beautiful and somewhat peaceful, but also quite boring and conservative, so I don't think they run into a lot of people like themselves. His mother, is still quite into our music as well, met us with a Sweeny Todd shirt on, combat boots, a Ramones plate emblem, and hello kitty floor mats in the back. Her younger, almost teenage daughter in an old Misfits shirt, and they live in a beautiful, and much larger than I am used to, victorian style house. It is a newer house that was built in the 90s, but for a newer house I love the design. They are very cool people, and although I admit a little awkward because of the situation with Shannon and I, I am very glad to have met them. Tomorrow we all head down to New Orleans, somewhere I and people close to me always knew I'd be at some time in my life.

I always have the tendency to want to be sarcastic, and never been one who understood or cared much for most small talk.

A good example happened earlier today. I was at Walgreen's buying a few items, one of which was cat food.

So the cashier casual asks "Do you own a cat?"

Well that was a weird question to me. The first thing I'm thinking is, "Why does she need to even ask?" Is there some fucked up illegal use for cat food that somehow I just don't know about? If I'm wrong clue me in on this, but I highly doubt it.

So the first two answers that come do mind for me are:

"Of course I own a cat. Why the fuck would I be buying cat food otherwise?"

or be sarcastic and say, "no the cat food is for me" or even better "no, it's for my son, I put it in his sandwiches and he doesn't know the difference"

But of course, I'd be an asshole for saying that, and it's the closest store within walking distance, and I doubt they would ever treat me the same again if I responded with one of those answers, I bite my tounge and say slightly hesitantly,

"yes, I do own a cat, I ran out of food for him and he is getting hungry"

Due to problems with my own family which I don't want to disclose on blogs for everyone to read about other people's problems, and some of them needing me there a bit, it looks like I will be returning to Milwaukee in about a month. Not a big surprise, I never cared for this area much, I'm here without my car, and I just never felt comfortable being down here knowing what's going on back home.

It's not like I think Milwaukee is the best place on earth to be, but it is my home and where I grew up. I'm sure eventually I might be elsewhere but again it's still where I need to be. I do try to remain an independent person, and of course have always had issues with some members of my family, but this is seriously important enough for me.

Shannon and I didn't work out as a couple. I won't play the blame game, we both have our issues. I am doing my best for us to remain friends and I always will hope the best for you.

I thank some of you for helping us both out during times of trouble through our issues. Scott and Anna for one, I'm sorry I feel like I'm in contact with you guys as much as I'd like to while down here, but the ways you've helped us have not at all been forgotten, taken for granted or gone unappreciated. We also have another friend helped us out in trouble, who I will not name, but as soon as I am up there and able to again, I will work towards paying you back for your favor. I also thank another couple who let us stay for awhile while we were first up there, for a few days longer than expected because of circumstances. I'm sorry we couldn't hang out more while we were up there but we truly weren't leaving the house much at all for many reasons, so it wasn't at all a personal decision for why we were never able to make it.

Although not naming all the names, I hope everybody I mentioned knows who they are and I do seriously mean thank you.

Anyway, I miss everyone up there, my family but also my close friends. Life needs to go on, and I have those responsibilities to myself and the things I feel I must do for my family to take care of while I'm up there.

I'll probably see some people out at the club every now and then but because of what's going on don't really expect to be there as much as I might have in the past. I hear it's changed a bit from friends but that of course is from what people tell me and not my own experiences.

I don't know about any of you but I am one of those people who worked at places where people literally take other people's food out of the refrigerator and eat it. I guess this would apply to room mates as well. I can understand when people say it's ok to eat something, but why do people think that if it's food, it's not stealing, especially when it's from your co workers who most likely make the same amount of money that you do.

The funny thing is that if someone was actually starving and hasn't eaten all day or for a day or two, I'd usually have no problem sharing my lunch if I could afford to do so.

I always thought a good idea was possibly leaving a sandwich in there and loading it up with the hottest possible curry powder you can find, or just spitting in a sandwich and see who eats it on you. Better yet, I wish I could find something similar to that stuff they put in trick candy that turns your mouth black, so you can catch the thief red handed.

The other thing that annoyed me is how employers just look the other way, although if it was company property they were taking home, they would be fired and possibly prosecuted, although the company usually has much more money than an individual employee does.

Because of this, I've often had to resort to going to the nearest fast food place and buying a lunch. I know it's more expensive, but not as expensive as buying a lunch and having someone else eat it on you.

I just thought this was funny. I don't really prefer PC or Mac, it's a personal preference but this video has a bit of truth to it. Macs seem more stable and can have less computability issues, PC's can play more games, are usually cheaper especially if built on your own, and more customizable.

You are a Social Liberal (86% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

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This somewhat says it, although I think I am a little more economically permissive than the chart shows. Yeah, I do hold some views that may be described as socialist, at least by people on the far right. Most of them involve health care where I think everybody should be covered and have access to health care, even though I don't think the government should own and run all the hospitals. Minimum wage and the right of people to form labor unions if they see fit just as businessmen and investors have the right to form corporations are another. Other than that, most of my other views could be seen as libertarian, but not alot of questions were asked on certain topics.

So I ran across articles on the web claiming Sarah Palin stated that she believes dinosaurs and humans co existed. Since they are blog-style articles and seem to be slightly politically biased, I don't take it very seriously. I still wouldn't vote for that ticket, but trying to push for creationism to be taught in schools isn't that far off from it.

Trying to ban books, along with firing people who disagree with her politically is bad enough. Simply being a woman does not make this woman a feminist by any means, and why on any interview or debate, can she not just answer a question? In any question she doesn't have a good answer for, or just doesn't want to answer, she changes the subject and usually goes on about how she's a "Hockey Mom".

So what. I do not mean to dis good mothers out there, but using the "I'm a mom" thing for political gain makes little sense to me. There was a woman running for governor in Missouri who did the same thing. Does she think that just every woman is going to say, "I'm a mom too" and vote for her. Courtney Love is a mom too, and maybe her daughter doesn't play hockey or soccer, but maybe she does drive her to band practice or whatever it is she likes to do. I still wouldn't want Courtney Love as vice-president, although I do see some advantages she has over the republican vice presidential nominee. So she can reproduce, just like most other women on the planet, and obviously, so can her daughter, despite the abstinence only philosophy she wants taught. (her daughter being pregnant is not a factor I hold against her as to her credentials for president, I just meant to point out the absurdity of the abstinence only policy) So will she please, answer a question, rather than demean what a feminist really is by choosing to try to flirt your way out of any question you can not or will not answer.

I know that she is only the vice presidential nominee, but that still means if anything happens to McCain, she would be president. Although McCain was probably the most respectable candidate from his party, I still don't hold the same political views he does on many issues, and think he made a very poor choice for his vice presidential running mate. I've shut up about politics for awhile, mainly because it often just led to discussions with people of differing views and just felt I was talking to a brick wall. I also at least tried to understand where people with opposing views are coming from. In some cases, I was able to at least somewhat understand it, but still didn't just see it their way.

Let me see where to start since I haven't posted in awhile. I guess I'll start with last week, when I went to my grandmother's to do laundry and on the way home my exhaust pipe on my car literally broke off and was dragging on the road underneath. Luckily I wasn't far away I was able to get it fixed. My car seems to have little problems, but nothing ever major. It's a love/hate thing, it does what a car is supposed to do, but looks awful. The paint is fading/peeling like most Chrysler cars from the early 90's do. When I think something major might be wrong it's something minor, so I'm stuck driving a horrible looking car, that is surprisingly reliable though.

I went out last week Wednesday as well, for the first time in god knows how long. I had fun but had a lot on my mind so anyone I know but was stand-offish too, please don't take it personal. I said hi and talked to two or three people, danced a little and drank my cheap beer. It was still nice to get out and see people though.

I haven't had much luck in the job thing, I guess I have to keep on looking, I just hate looking for jobs. If you go on any employment webisite, and even some papers, a good amount of it is just crap, scams, get rich quick schemes, or some other fraud. Weeding through it all to find anything useful is just tedious to me. This week I did cut back on my caffiene and started drinking a lot of grape propel water mix. It's good in general, I was getting too hyperfocused on just one or two things in life and not able to focus on anything else, or keep a decent sleep schedule. So far I've been succesful, but have been sleeping the weirdest hours. I usually have been falling asleep before 10pm and waking up before 4am. I'm sure I'll adjust. I also spent a lot of today and yesterday cleaning all the things in the apartment that I've been neglecting for the majority of winter. Altogether I'm in an ok mood at least. That's pretty much it, other than that my life hasn't been to interesting unless you want to be bored with more talk about World of Warcraft the other thing I've been doing but not quite as much this week.

Here's an article I came across today, for anybody into Gary Numan.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/showbiz/latest/2008/03/14/gary-numan-exclusive-89520-20351087/

I relate to him on a few issues at least.

For one last though, hurray for Zyrtec being sold over the counter and it's generic eqivalent. I was prescribed it about a year ago but couldn't afford the $80 a month for it. The prices over the counter are a bit expensive but nothing like that. It's the only thing that I've tried that really works on my allergies and doesn't knock me out. I know it's an odd random though, but my eyes were itchy so I just took one.

I rarely even have the least concern for about 95% of the movies that are released and just find them to be boring and a complete waste of time. Still there are those few movies I just love and I can watch over and over again.

Today I found out about this, maybe I'm late to find this out, I'm not sure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Boys_2:_The_Tribe

This is the first I've heard about this. I'm not sure if it's going to be actually in theaters or if it's some straight to video thing, but it does have a soundtrack which makes me think the first. I'm actually kind of excited, the first one is still one of my favorite movies. This one even has the Corey's in it, so at least there is some novelty.

Let me add this link too.

http://www.trailerspy.com/movie-trailers/view/447/lost-boys-2-the-tribe-trailer/

About a month ago I took a job cleaning at a school in Mukwonago. I didn't work directly for the school district though, I actually work through a franchise who had a contract with the school district. Though it's obviously not my dream job, the pay sounded good so I gave it a try. It was also nice because there really wasn't anything too dirty to clean up.

I tried my best on this job, although I had trouble getting everything done on time in the first few days, before the week was over I was able to do so. It also was about a 45 minute drive for me to get there which meant it would cost a lot in gas to get there. Because of this, I agreed that I would only do it if I worked full time and for a certain amount of money.

So it was agreed upon that I would work for a certain hourly rate. Since mapquest said it would be about a 40 minuted drive, I left about 50 minutes before starting work. On the first day or two, I was there on time, but on one day it made me late, no more than 5 minutes late, but still late. After being talked to about it, I started leaving for work an hour early. On one occasion, I was late again, still within 5 minutes though, but still late. The problem that day was that there was an accident on I 43, a lane was closed and traffic was backed up without any warning before I left. I live in a city, this stuff happens.

Then came the snow day. I already worked through 2 snow storms, and on the way home I drove about 25mph the whole way home and still came very close to sliding into the ditch. Then came the day with the snow and ice, and almost all the schools were closed, including the one I worked at. I was told that I was still expected to go but I did not feel safe driving in those conditions considering that I almost slid into the ditch twice in weather that wasn't as bad. To make it worse, since I wasn't working for a few weeks prior, I don't have insurance. It's not illegal to drive without insurance in this state, but in weather like that, it's not a very smart thing to do. If I slid into anybody, or someone cuts me off or anything and I do get into an accident, I would be financially fucked. I've had it happen to me when I was 20 years old, and I couldn't get my liscence back for almost 5 years and it also put me into quite a deep depression. I'm also not at an income to just afford to buy another car if I crash this one, so if I did get into an accident, I wouldn't be getting to work at all. On this day, I also had my phone out, and I wasn't sure why, but I tried a pay phone and it also didn't work. Somehow my internet worked though so I emailed someone to let them know I couldn't make it, it was the only thing I could do, and they did find out, not right when I was supposed to start, but not too long after.

So the next day I'm told by him that the company I work for can be fined if no one is available to work for them. I was told this before but this was the only day I missed. If the same thing happened again knowing what I did, I would still miss work. He then tells me that the fine is $75 for each hour missed, much more then I get paid an hour, and actually a whole day would be more than what I make a week. I'm also told by another person that this will be taken out of my check, something I never agreed to. That was part of their contract, not mine, and I was not even made aware of this. So the next day, I call them about to quit if this was the case. Why would I spend my money to go to work if I'm not even getting paid? The fins was big enough to assure that I would have been working for nothing. They assured me that this isn't the case so I went to work, although I was a little late since my intention was to quit anyway if I wasn't going to get paid. I also find out from the guy who's under contract with the school, that the people at the school complained about the few times I was "late". I find out the next day that the time clock is actually set about 5 minutes fast. So if it was set an hour fast would I be an hour late? So in real time, I wasn't actually late, close but still just on time. I also never had a job that gets terribly upset over 2 minutes. This was all complete bullshit to me.

I work out the rest of week, being on time after that. Then at the beginning of this week, I"m told I don't need to be in because they have to train someone for the 3 days I would miss between Christmas and New Year. The 20th was the pay day we'd agreed on though. I try all day to call them to find out where I can pick up my check, and I get no answer. This is the number on their business card keep in mind. At about 9 at night, I finally get a call, saying that I won't be getting a check because they haven't been paid by the client yet. This is my job and my agreed upon pay day. I am depending on this money, my phone bill isn't paid, I have no money for gas or food, or even feed my cats, much less anything for Xmas. Not only is this illegal, but very immoral. So this guy who sounds like he has a decent car, is decently dressed, and drives an almost brand new Nissan which he claims is a Lexus, can't afford to pay me?

The contract between him and the school is his business, not mine. The people who worked at school expect you to have to call in every now and then, so it was actually their responsibility to make sure someone can make it there if I can't. I'm human, I do get sick on occasion, or have car troubles or other emergencies, Superman wasn't looking for a job unfortunately, so I don't know what they expect. As it was, I did only miss that one day of work, when school was actually closed anyway. This says it's unsafe for teachers to go to work, and for school busses to drive kids to school, but not unsafe for me? I didn't think having a clean chalkboard and swept floor was that essential of a job. Even the other people who cleaned with me but worked directly for the school board said it's not in there union contract, and they don't blame me for missing work.

Yeah, I essential feel like I was stolen from. I'm sorry to the person who helped me get this job as a favor, I know it wasn't your doing and was only trying to help and I don't hold this against you in any way at all. It just doesn't feel good to work and actually spend gas money to get to work just to be left without a dime when you are supposed to get paid.

Well, this summer has been plagued by money problems. Since I can't really afford to go out, I've been amusing myself playing world of warcraft. I'll put up a picture of my character sometime along with a few of alt characters. To also help us get out of this, we've dropped everything but our basic cable, and went with AT&T for our phone and DSL.

In good news, I have a job interview for a Pharmacy Technician at Walgreen's on Brady Street on Tuesday. I thought about being one for my old employee but they paid very poorly. It is something that I've been thinking about doing now as a job anyway, since I seriously have been considering of going into a medical career eventually. I know I'm squeamish with blood and such but maybe I can get over enough to at least be radiologist or something. My options are somewhat open, but I have to be in good standing with my loans again before I do that. I think a few things are finally coming together which is good after my summer of feeling like I was in yet another hole that I can't get out of.

Also, to anybody who has helped us out in any way, large or small in the last year, we have not forgotten you. Thank you and as soon as we are able we will return the favor. I might have a different outlook on who are your true friends, but I don't always believe they are necessarily the people you see the most, but the people you can always trust and whose bond never breaks even after months or perhaps years of not seeing them.